How does one achieve happiness? How does one hang on to it, so that it colours one’s life, and lends it meaning, throughout one’s waking hours? These are questions that have agitated the human mind for aeons. Sages have pondered on them, and come up with answers. Psychologists have analysed happiness, and given pointers. Scientists have examined the chemical components of a brain during its happy hours ( so to say !) and given us the names of the compounds found in the body when the mind is happy. But how does one go about achieving it?
We all know happiness when we see it, we all know when we ourselves are happy. Perhaps certain people are happier than others. Bhutan is a happy country, we are told. And India, perhaps, is not. It’s true that the Bhutanese are generally calm, and tranquil, and cheerful. Are they happy? Who knows?
It is of course way, way beyond the purview of this little column to find the secret of happiness. Lifelong happiness is in any case a huge challenge. Life throws so many googlies at us, so many hurdles need to be overcome at every stage. Death and disease are rampant. How can one be happy? By acquiring things, a kind of happiness is achieved. But that is fleeting. One gets used to the new acquisition. So perhaps happiness does not lie, after all, in material things, though it is important to have enough to smoothen one’s path through life.
And yet, it is one of the miracles of existence that yes, people can be, and often are, happy. And here it is seen that happiness often comes from the small things of life. Things such as a clear autumn sky, a child’s laughter, rain and clouds on distant mountains, a simple dish well cooked, and served with love, all bring happiness. But there are others. A recent conversation with a cross section of people from various walks of life about this brought out several such examples. Self help books, and books and articles and videos of the “How to Achieve Happiness” kind do not mention these little things. And yet they contribute, in no small way, to our feeling of contentment.
So what are some of the things that can bring a daily dose of happiness? One of the most satisfying ways of achieving this is to meet one’s deadlines. One can be involved in a project of some complexity. The stress of approaching deadlines can limit happiness. But when the whole thing is finished, that too within the stipulated time frame, the kind of satisfaction that one gets from a job well done is indeed happiness. A small one, true, but it’s these little things that make up the rich tapestry of one’s life, and imbue it with meaning and, yes, happiness.
Another related happiness comes when one can tick off a number on a To Do List. Most of us these days live lives of some intricacy. There are always a huge number of things that compete for our attention, of differing kinds. Some relate to our worklife, others to our domestic concerns, still others to our relationships. In order to juggle all of this with at least some measure of success, we need to track things on a planner, or an electronic reminding device, or a simple, yes, To Do List written on paper. This may have things as diverse as “Buy birthday present for So and So” to “Book Hotel for next month’s holiday”, from “Send completed manuscript to publisher” to “ Go to bereaved family to condole death of their father”, from “Meet with Chartered Accountant about taxes” to “Buy medicines for child’s fever ”, from “Organize gas refill cylinder” to “Get the marigold saplings from the nursery”, from “Arrange tonight’s dinner for sudden guests” to “Prepare keynote address for Monday’s Conference.” As we finish each task, it gives us all immense pleasure, does it not, to be able to tick it off the list. This pleasure, this satisfaction, is surely a kind of happiness, a kind of high that we get from achieving a target, and in getting things done.
Yet another small but significant way in which we can achieve a dose of daily happiness relates to our finances. All of us have a budget, a set amount that we keep aside for all the numerous expenses that we are faced with, daily. When we go out to the shops, it is always a struggle to stick to one’s budget, for there are so many things that cry out, “Buy Me ! Buy Me!” in loud voices. We may have gone to the shops with the intention of buying a gift for a friend. But then the clothes on offer are so very pretty that we end up buying two totally unnecessary items for ourselves, as well. We may go to the Book Fair with the intention of buying books within a certain amount of money. But with so many new titles vying for our attention, we often end up buying twice that amount. And then, subsequently, we have to buy an additional book rack to accommodate them all.
These days, things have become much more complicated with the advent of online shopping. All kinds of enticing advertisements remind us that this world is a Big Fat Marketplace. It is but the work of a moment to graduate from drooling over a pair of red shoes to actually whipping out one’s credit card and ordering it. Before one knows it, one is hopelessly over-budget.
It requires a will of steel, therefore to be able to stick to one’s budget when one is out Puja or Eid or Christmas shopping. And the satisfaction that comes from doing so, contributes also to one’s quantum of daily happiness.
The high that comes from being with people one likes, loves, or is attracted to, certainly contributes to happiness. An evening spent with like minded friends, or a holiday with a group of buddies, gives one a warm feeling that can last for days. The feel-good endorphins make us all get back to our daily routines with a smile on our faces. Even a stupid SMS joke from a friend makes us feel the same way, for a while. Happiness is in the recognition of the intention, which is, “Hey, my friend, here’s something to make you smile, cheer you up, and see you through the rest of day …”
Another kind of happiness comes from making new friends. These days, we are no longer restricted to one social circle. All of us move around, and meet up with new people all the time. We move out from our hometowns to the wide world outside, on work, or on pleasure. Besides, there is the world of social networks. Making, and keeping new friends is a greatly pleasurable thing. There is so much to know, so much to explore, so much to find out about these new people, their ways of living, their friends, their families, everything. This process certainly adds to one’s quantum of daily happiness.
Then there are those things that give us joy, that are our passion and our solace in difficult times. These are what can loosely be termed “hobbies”, but are actually so much more than just simply “time pass” activities. An interest in movies, or music, in gardening or sports, in body building or in cooking, can become a stress buster, and a happiness giver.
All Things Considered, these are the little lubricants that smoothen our journey through life, and make the sadness, and hardships, a little easier to bear. Thank God, then, for them…!
We all know happiness when we see it, we all know when we ourselves are happy. Perhaps certain people are happier than others. Bhutan is a happy country, we are told. And India, perhaps, is not. It’s true that the Bhutanese are generally calm, and tranquil, and cheerful. Are they happy? Who knows?
It is of course way, way beyond the purview of this little column to find the secret of happiness. Lifelong happiness is in any case a huge challenge. Life throws so many googlies at us, so many hurdles need to be overcome at every stage. Death and disease are rampant. How can one be happy? By acquiring things, a kind of happiness is achieved. But that is fleeting. One gets used to the new acquisition. So perhaps happiness does not lie, after all, in material things, though it is important to have enough to smoothen one’s path through life.
And yet, it is one of the miracles of existence that yes, people can be, and often are, happy. And here it is seen that happiness often comes from the small things of life. Things such as a clear autumn sky, a child’s laughter, rain and clouds on distant mountains, a simple dish well cooked, and served with love, all bring happiness. But there are others. A recent conversation with a cross section of people from various walks of life about this brought out several such examples. Self help books, and books and articles and videos of the “How to Achieve Happiness” kind do not mention these little things. And yet they contribute, in no small way, to our feeling of contentment.
So what are some of the things that can bring a daily dose of happiness? One of the most satisfying ways of achieving this is to meet one’s deadlines. One can be involved in a project of some complexity. The stress of approaching deadlines can limit happiness. But when the whole thing is finished, that too within the stipulated time frame, the kind of satisfaction that one gets from a job well done is indeed happiness. A small one, true, but it’s these little things that make up the rich tapestry of one’s life, and imbue it with meaning and, yes, happiness.
Another related happiness comes when one can tick off a number on a To Do List. Most of us these days live lives of some intricacy. There are always a huge number of things that compete for our attention, of differing kinds. Some relate to our worklife, others to our domestic concerns, still others to our relationships. In order to juggle all of this with at least some measure of success, we need to track things on a planner, or an electronic reminding device, or a simple, yes, To Do List written on paper. This may have things as diverse as “Buy birthday present for So and So” to “Book Hotel for next month’s holiday”, from “Send completed manuscript to publisher” to “ Go to bereaved family to condole death of their father”, from “Meet with Chartered Accountant about taxes” to “Buy medicines for child’s fever ”, from “Organize gas refill cylinder” to “Get the marigold saplings from the nursery”, from “Arrange tonight’s dinner for sudden guests” to “Prepare keynote address for Monday’s Conference.” As we finish each task, it gives us all immense pleasure, does it not, to be able to tick it off the list. This pleasure, this satisfaction, is surely a kind of happiness, a kind of high that we get from achieving a target, and in getting things done.
Yet another small but significant way in which we can achieve a dose of daily happiness relates to our finances. All of us have a budget, a set amount that we keep aside for all the numerous expenses that we are faced with, daily. When we go out to the shops, it is always a struggle to stick to one’s budget, for there are so many things that cry out, “Buy Me ! Buy Me!” in loud voices. We may have gone to the shops with the intention of buying a gift for a friend. But then the clothes on offer are so very pretty that we end up buying two totally unnecessary items for ourselves, as well. We may go to the Book Fair with the intention of buying books within a certain amount of money. But with so many new titles vying for our attention, we often end up buying twice that amount. And then, subsequently, we have to buy an additional book rack to accommodate them all.
These days, things have become much more complicated with the advent of online shopping. All kinds of enticing advertisements remind us that this world is a Big Fat Marketplace. It is but the work of a moment to graduate from drooling over a pair of red shoes to actually whipping out one’s credit card and ordering it. Before one knows it, one is hopelessly over-budget.
It requires a will of steel, therefore to be able to stick to one’s budget when one is out Puja or Eid or Christmas shopping. And the satisfaction that comes from doing so, contributes also to one’s quantum of daily happiness.
The high that comes from being with people one likes, loves, or is attracted to, certainly contributes to happiness. An evening spent with like minded friends, or a holiday with a group of buddies, gives one a warm feeling that can last for days. The feel-good endorphins make us all get back to our daily routines with a smile on our faces. Even a stupid SMS joke from a friend makes us feel the same way, for a while. Happiness is in the recognition of the intention, which is, “Hey, my friend, here’s something to make you smile, cheer you up, and see you through the rest of day …”
Another kind of happiness comes from making new friends. These days, we are no longer restricted to one social circle. All of us move around, and meet up with new people all the time. We move out from our hometowns to the wide world outside, on work, or on pleasure. Besides, there is the world of social networks. Making, and keeping new friends is a greatly pleasurable thing. There is so much to know, so much to explore, so much to find out about these new people, their ways of living, their friends, their families, everything. This process certainly adds to one’s quantum of daily happiness.
Then there are those things that give us joy, that are our passion and our solace in difficult times. These are what can loosely be termed “hobbies”, but are actually so much more than just simply “time pass” activities. An interest in movies, or music, in gardening or sports, in body building or in cooking, can become a stress buster, and a happiness giver.
All Things Considered, these are the little lubricants that smoothen our journey through life, and make the sadness, and hardships, a little easier to bear. Thank God, then, for them…!
(All Things Considered, The Assam Tribune, 3rd November, 2013)
No comments:
Post a Comment